Just bubbled a sat for luton, after also busting early in the gukpt main event.
Confidence is now quite low and i'm almost certainly going to miss my first gukpt main event in months. Spent a fair bit on sats now and certainly can't justify spending much more on them(will try 1 more), and right now don't even know if i really want to.
It's very easy i think to become very disillusioned with poker, especially when you're on a bad run like i am at the moment. I'm sure without a doubt that these moments are the ones that really define you as a player...if you can cut it so to speak.
Gotta be honest and say right now i don't know one hundred percent if i can.
The swings are just so huge, both financhially and emotionally in tournament poker. I think perhaps the time has come to take some time off from the game.
After next week's empire festival, and luton gukpt week the week after, i may take some time off from the game and do some real soul searching.
Trading sports is something i feel there is much less variance in and i may go back to my old 'job' for a period of time.
Of course a big win in the next few days might change my mind but i'm not totally sure if that would be a good thing. A win can cloud over important factors that need to be considered and not pushed aside for a rainy day.
Whilst in vegas i finally realised the importance of adding a solid cash game to my poker 'skills'. It's something that is a gaping hole within my poker game. The lesser the variance in this game the better, and i really can't rely on luck anymore.
After reading james keys's blog the other day i realsied i'm too old to be messing around. He mentioned career choices and spoke of differences in life decisions based on age. Well at 30 i'm at a crossroads in my life.
(1)Do i pack it all in and get a 9-5?
(2)Do i put the poker to one side and concentrate on the sports trading for a bit while disecting my game and reading some books-basically getting back to basics?
(3)Do i say to hell with it all and give the poker 100 percent again for the zillionth time?
Favourite is number 2 right now, but i've a feeling certain ppl i know would prefer i chose number 1-something i really don't want to do right now.
Ok i''ve ranted and raved enough here, hope anyone expecting a detailed 'poker' blog isn't too dissapointed. I just feel my head is a little messed up right now and blogging about it actually helps.
Ok peeps laters,
MPN Poker Tour Tallinn
6 days ago